17.9.14

I cant even lie, but today I broke down again. After sending a picture via text to my Aunt then reading her reaction, I couldn’t fight the overwhelming urge to breakdown. To make matters worse we conversed about my sunken in right eye. I just felt discouraged by the sight of myself in the mirror.
My aunt provided me with great advice and encouraging words, however, the pain resurfaces whenever I gaze upon this unfamiliar reflection.
I constantly browse through my collection of photos.
Everyone’s words are encouraging. I keep hearing you’ll always be beautiful, sexy, gorgeous…
People don’t understand that When you’re the one enduring the pain and waking up to a wounded face, it’s a bit difficult to  perceive those words as truthful.
I have to remain strong and think positively. I refuse to allow this incident to be my downfall.
I cried hysterically to Best in me-Marvin Sapp, We fall Down-Donnie McClurkin. Then calmed myself down to SZA and Mali music.
Music gets me through my problems and clears my mind.
It’s my escape.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Jackie says:

    My dearest niece, this blog gave me the gooses–God does not give you more than you can bear, it’s hard but you are strong this is one set back in your young life but I want you to know it’s a reason why you are still here, God has a purpose for you and it’s not what is on the outside only but it’s also what is on the inside that makes you YOU, your personality will take you a long way–if someone can’t appreciate you with your flaws, then they weren’t worth your time in the first place. You have to finish what you started–because I know you are not a QUITTER. I love you and have faith in you and you are even more beautiful than you think, don’t let that stupid mirror fool you.

  2. Brie says:

    No matter what you are still you. You will always be the one we love. I miss you but everything happens for a reason. Love yourself

    1. Thank you so much for those kind words. I haven’t been on my blog for awhile, so I apologize for the late reply.

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