1. Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. (Dictionary.com)
I’m not trying to offend anyone by citing the dictionary.com definition of selfish. I’m sure you offhand know what it means or at best are knowledgeable enough to describe it. I just thought for my own sake I’d search for a proper, well worded definition of the famous word. I can’t even lie, I smirked a little after reading the definition and thought to myself, “Yea, this isn’t me.”
Be selfish: this word and phrase seems to be the recurrent themed advice of my 20s. Almost any adult I’ve confided in so far about the events in my life has repeatedly been advising me to be selfish. But how does one become selfish or learn to master such trait after living a life of generosity? For most of my life, since I’ve grown to know myself; based on the reminiscent memories my dad shares and my own recollections of childhood, I’ve always shared with others. Barely even thought twice to do it. Yet now, it seems like my days of generosity are catching up to me and left me with the inability to be selfish. So tell me, how do I acquire this trait, where do I start? Do I need lessons on it? My whole life I’ve always been told it’s important to share, God will reward you for it and people will appreciate your good deeds. I’m neither intending to harp nor am I expecting a personal gold medal or a plaque engraved: Lifetime achievement award of generosity. I’m currently at a cross road now in my life where I need to solely focus on me and my well being without feeling like I need external approval. Also, I’d greatly appreciate if I can happily do things for myself with guilt swooping in ready to kidnap my joy.
I. Need. To. Be. Selfish
& in these particular areas of my life to be exact: With my time
My love (Sexual and emotional)
My advice- some ppl are like brick walls, no matter how much you give eventually you’ll see it’s a waste of your time
I’m not sure where to start in this journey of uncovering the myth of ” How to be Selfish. I know THREE places I need to start for sure are time, money and love.
Love- I have to learn to love myself entirely before I can accept love from someone else. Having the ability to love myself wholeheartedly whether or not that person (or people) are in my life. Accepting myself on bad days and still seeing the beautiful QUEEN in me. Also accepting myself on good days leaving no room for pessimism and negativity to heavily downpour on my sunny days.
Money- learning to say a firm NO to puppy dog eyes and pleas for financial assistance. Especially since my ass is just as much in need of a little financial boost. This only deprives me in the long run.
And finally time- be selfish with my time and stop responding to fuck boys without real agendas, purpose or status of my role in their lives. I have some changes and adjustments to make. Selfishness, here I come. I hope I take my dosages of selfishness in healthy generous moderation before I abuse it. I wish myself the best. See there’s a start!