Brothers Lessons

As a child, you teased me making sure my skin was tough enough for the cruel world and mean kids.

As a child, you showed me the definition of unconditional love.

As a child, it was you who taught me to fight with my hands, making sure I protected myself at all times. Protect myself from the bullies and people who tried to test me.  

As an adult, It was you who taught me to refrain from physical confrontation (unless necessary) but instead retaliate with my intelligence, wit and words. Always advising me not to allow anyone to be in control of my emotions. 

As a child, you told me to stay away from boys by saying “they only want one thing” Of course I didn’t listen, but i never once forgot what you told me and eventually had to discover the truth on my own. 

As a teenager, when you sensed I was getting a little too rebellious you purposely embarrassed me in front of my friends to keep me in line.

As a teenager you gave me “the talk” which you admitted was awkward and difficult to have at the time. Nonetheless you didn’t shy away from it, and in fact stood your ground. As a pre-teen venturing off into high school you taught me to observe my environment, most importantly the people surrounding me and not become “that girl”.

As a college student, you went against guy code and gave me the emotional insight of a guys mind. Sharing with me that males and females are actually more similar than society tends to make it seem.

As a college graduate you taught me to not undermine my degree and not allow terminations from temporary jobs tarnish my determination. You told me to stop bawling and go back to the drawing board. 

As a college graduate, you told me to hold my head high and be persistent, constantly reminding me “Yolanda you have a Bachelors degree, you’re one step ahead of so many other people”. You told me NOT to give up, but instead continue searching and diversify my options. 

As an adult, you supported my decision either way between packing it all up and returning home or sticking through the difficult times and living on my own.

As an adult, you advised me friendships change, people change, while assuring me it’s all apart of life. All that matters is that I do not allow those external factors to break my spirit and ruin my self perspective or self esteem.

As an adult, you told me there’ll be moments in life where I’ll feel alone, but I have to get through those times to discover and understand myself.

As an adult, you told me I have to create my own happiness by finding my happy song and playing it even on my bad days

As an adult you told me to stop trying to impress others and just focus on myself.

As a child, I wanted to be like you. As a child, I felt protected and safe in your presence.


Now as a woman I want to thank you for every new life lesson you ALL teach me

As a little sister, (the wash belly) and the last of the bunch, I’m not exactly sure what I’ve taught you all. I just hope whatever it is, it was worth it. 

Even if I had the option, I wouldn’t have changed anything.

Thank you for the brother lessons.

Am I ashamed to call on your name?

On Christmas Day, at the dinner table I found myself making the most pitiful and hesitant attempt to gather my family together with an announcement about prayer. I know and I am sure of my personal connection with God, but in the moment I became unintentionally reluctant to call upon him and openly thank him in front of my family. My brother teased me for the sad attempt I made with my low-tone, almost incomprehensible prayer. Interrupted by him and my own embarrassment, I stopped. I quickly turned to my right, where my mom was standing and asked her to bless the table filled with dishes of baked Mac and cheese, vegetables, ham, oxtail and BBQ chicken. I was embarrassed of how I cowered in the midst of my Brother’s innocent mocking. Most importantly I felt ashamed of myself and ashamed for disappointing God.
Now I’m looking back at Sunday, December 25,2016. Feeling haunted by my lack of bravery, my poor attempt of initiative to gather everyone and openly express my gratitude to God. When did I become such a coward?  I call on God in the silence of my mind and speak to God in the loneliness of my room. Yet, here it is I couldn’t even find the courage to announce a simple prayer or orate a simple thank you in front of my family. The family God blessed me with. There’s no shame in praising God or expressing gratitude, so why did I lack courage that day?

Have I become detached from God, that I’m ashamed to call on him in the presence of others? Maybe, I’m just trying to prove to the world that I’m not a pious, religion imposing saint trying to secure my spot in the kingdom of heaven. I’m not overtly Religious. I don’t  practice a specific religious belief. I am spiritual, in the sense that I acknowledge the existence of a higher,powerful being. This may seem confusing to some, however, my belief and preference to associate my self with spiritual belief particularly derives from life experiences. Also, believe it or not I was once a Sunday school regular. I don’t ever try to impose my thoughts or beliefs on anyone. I simply, believe what I believe and I encourage others to do the same. Yet, for some reason I lost my voice that day. 

I’m sure God wasn’t please with me, and now I’m openly expressing my apology, hoping that he forgives me for being afraid and ashamed about acknowledging his presence in my life. 

God’s Instructional Kit

When the Lord created me, there is no doubt in my mind that he didn’t send me to earth without an instructional kit.

They say we can’t choose the families we are born into. Somehow, The Almighty saw it fit to provide me with both a mother and father, who are more than equip for the tedious task.

I ask, how can two people love and care for me so much?

How do they deal with my constant injuries? attitude? and moods?

My parents, in spite of the imperfections are nonetheless,the perfect ┬áparents for me. I couldn’t imagine myself growing up in anyone else’s arms.

I Thank you for their unconditional love and support.