“It doesn’t even matter”

It doesn’t matter how good your sex is

It doesn’t matter how strong your head game is

It doesn’t matter when and how much you say you love him and text/call to prove how much you care

Once a man’s interest in you has faded, he’ll be moving on to the next one and you’re left stuck in a place of confusion

You’re left paralyzed by his words, promises and vivid memories replaying in your head, the memories of the good, honeymoon phase. Memories of arguments that were mended by sexual attraction and mutual understanding

You mourn for those days like you mourn for a close relative you’ll never have the chance to see again. 

In my moments that I think of you. I miss every part of you. 

I didn’t think it would hurt this bad, neither was I prepared for the sharp intensity of your words and actions.

Now, I see even my most recent actions don’t phase you. Your mind is set and your heart is fixed, your eyes are looking in a new direction. 

I can’t interfere or alter any of that, so now I’m aware of my state and I have to completely fall back.